More About Restoring Connection

(Last updated 2/16/09)

“I have had the privilege of experiencing the richness of the 'Restoring Connection' model; astonishingly profound experiences have occurred in the process. This model truly offers a path to mind, body, spirit integration. Elizabeth sensitively and skillfully facilitates experiential discovery and connection to our most essential dimensions.”
Kate Waldron, Ph.D., R. N.


“Restoring Connection” is based on the belief that inherent in the human condition is disconnection from: our bodies, our felt sense, our True Self, our Core, the Divine, the spiritual realm and others. A sense of separateness, isolation and alienation ensues, often coupled with anxiety, fear and despair. This inspiring approach offers a means of experientially restoring connection: consolidating and establishing the bonds between all these aspects, which results in a profound feeling of integration of our BodyMindSpirit as well as being in relationship with all that is. The new headline becomes "we are not alone", and from this knowingness comes a true sense of Joy.


THE CONTEXT

“Restoring Connection” organically emerged from within an experiential study group of psychotherapists lead by Elizabeth Lehmann, MA, MSW, LCSW in New York City. Initially the group was devoted to the experiential process of focusing as developed by Eugene Gendlin, Ph.D. at the University of Chicago in the 1960’s. Over time its scope naturally broadened. More recent developments from psychology, neurobiology, body based therapies and spirituality started being explicated, included and integrated into focusing.

As participants surprisingly began having “beyond focusing” transpersonal experiences, it was clear something truly new and extremely profound was emerging. One of the group members, Ginny Parker, so beautifully expressed, “It gives me the shivers. It’s like realizing something that I’ve always hoped to be true, really is true and real.” In response to the group’s experiences, “Restoring Connection”, a multi-dimensional model was born and continues to unfold.

THE PROCESS

Central to the “Restoring Connection” model is a specified process. In many respects the process resembles the growth of a tree. The roots develop first, spreading deeply into the Earth; bodily grounding is essential. Then the trunk of the tree grows, wherein reconnection with the bodily felt sense occurs, and all the meaning therein. Eventually the branches reach into the heavens towards the sky, opening to transpersonal experience, while remaining fully grounded and integrating what is experienced into the body. A deeply rooted blossoming tree beautifully symbolizes a restored and reconnected Self: alive, vibrant, totally in the NOW and fully connected to all that is.

This restorative experiential model is multi-dimensional. It is not linear, and its components are not discrete. Yet it is presented as such for learning purposes. In reality everything is interrelated, and once all aspects are learned and integrated, an incredibly rich cohesive whole results.

We start with experientially getting an overall sense of the model and then we go through the components together. The components are briefly introduced at certain points & then gone back to later, in more depth.

First we go to the nervous system, to understand and track the ways in which it is activated and to facilitate its regulation, while increasing its range of resilience.(Levine) We know that if we are not within our range of resilience, we are physiologically unable to truly be curious, open or present to our inner experiencing and others. So we take the time to establish resources people can call on to soothe and calm the nervous system, and we use the bodily felt sense (Gendlin) to help them identify what their specific resources might be. This process, called resourcing (Frederick & McNeal, Heller, Napier) is not only the key to developing self regulation and increasing the range of resilience in the nervous system, but it also enables us to go deeper into our inner experience, while maintaining regulation and safety, and be present to others.

“Part of the beauty of the ‘Restoring Connection’ model is its acute sensitivity to the nervous system and its primary commitment to supporting a feeling of safety. Elizabeth has achieved this by integrating her many years of experience with varied modalities to create a style of working with others that empowers them to safely connect with places that often are not possible to reach otherwise.” (Mary C. Howard, group member)

Then we come into "the delicate flower of presence", (Tolle) and this is the overriding stance from which all else emanates. It includes also coming from a place of "unconditional positive regard". (Rogers) We bear witness without judgment, to our own and to the inner experience of the other. We welcome what is expressed with "a tiny bud of a smile on our lips" (Hahn) and "unconditional friendliness" (Brach).

Fundamental to resourcing as well as a wonderful introduction to presence is mindfulness : bringing gentle awareness to something external or internal and simply noticing.(Hahn, Kabat-Zinn, Mingyur) This very act of awareness in turn changes our experience, which change can then also be tracked and noticed, facilitating cohesion and leading safely to deeper opening and deeper awareness. The act of gently bringing awareness to something and simply noticing also provides an island of safety that can be returned to time and again throughout a process.

The ultimate resource in the model is reconnection with the True Self, our pure unwounded essence. The True Self may present as embodied parts, places, or even expanded states of consciousness, depending upon the person. This reconnection is facilitated through grounded guided experiences. Some of the parts encountered may include the core child (Mota), the wise self, the future self (Napier), and these parts in turn then become potential resources to support us. In this part of the process it is also not uncommon to encounter the transpersonal. Some people may find themselves opening to Oneness, to the Infinite, while others experience it as an opening into the mystical realm.

Similarly, it is from a place of restored connection to this part of ourselves, our True Self, that one is best able to be with the more wounded parts of ourselves, and process any undigested pockets of earlier experience we may encounter that need integration.

Another major component of the model is the use of the traditional focusing process, (Gendlin, Cornell, Mc Gavin, et al) with its reliance on the bodily felt sense to guide us throughout all the different layers. While we track nervous system activation, we are simultaneously following the unfolding of the bodily felt sense, using active resourcing as needed. Also as natural spontaneous moments of resourcing occur, they are highlighted and slowed down and awareness brought to them through the felt sense. Similarly, time is taken to securely anchor in the body any shifts that occur there to facilitate full integration.

Resonance within the energetic relational field continues to provide the optimal holding environment.

Wounded child parts are also accessed through the bodily felt sense and attended to in this way using an integration of focusing and parts work (Napier). Again it is the combination of the nervous system work, resourcing and focusing which enables the deep healing of these parts of ourselves to take place.

The most recent aspect to emerge from within the group’s process, is being in direct relationship with the heart center. This is a deeper level of experiencing than the usual felt sense level of tightness in the chest in relation to a particular something in one’s life. Because of the intensity often experienced when directly sensing into the heart center, it is wise to have experiences processing on the other levels beforehand.

It feels completely right that we are ultimately led to the heart center. For it is there that true integration, transmutation and transformation ultimately occurs. And it is through the door of the heart that we pass from judgment into compassion, from fear into love, and from separation into oneness.

“Restoring Connection” is more than just a specified process. It is a way of compassionately being in relationship with all that is. The results are wonderfully expressed by group member Kate Lawton, “This practice has made me a better, more mindful therapist, mother, wife and friend. Ultimately this model has brought me back to myself in the deepest knowing way.” Melissa Maxwell, another group member adds, “It’s hard to put into words the amazing impact this work has had on all areas of my life."

All of this occurs within the context of relationship. The sacred circle of the group is created and facilitated by Elizabeth. The process is learned through experiential practices done in partnership with other group members. This is key. For it is in relationship that we are wounded, and it is in relationship that we are healed.

Furthermore, the group becomes a welcome harbor from tumultuous waters, an invaluable resource. We instinctually sense this is not a time to go it alone. Because of what’s happening in the world it’s almost as if we’re being nudged to caringly turn to each other and collectively attend to what’s been neglected globally, nationally and personally. We’re being called to recognize and embrace the interconnectedness of all life. We need a safe place to encourage and support each other as we do this. A “Restoring Connection” group has the potential to provide you with such a place.

We’re poised for transformation. Albeit challenging, it is also an exciting time to be alive. We’re gratefully being given so much to help us move forward personally and collectively. To quote Gandhi, "you must be the change you want to see in the world." May the healing that occurs through "Restoring Connection" have a far reaching ripple effect, positively impacting the lives of many and the planet.

You can read and talk about it, but you have to experience it in order to truly get it. To learn how, go to my blog entry "Experience It!".

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